Fee's Writings
An Angel's Touch: Chapter Five
Warnings: None
Saint Luke's.
Somehow it seemed right that she should come here. The service was over, but the church was left open for those people who did not find any kind of enlightenment within a congregation.
As Natalie entered, the place was empty, then a faint whispering alerted her to the presence of a young male, on his knees before the altar, head bowed in prayer. She smiled a little, making her way up the centre of the church, sitting down to think.
Natalie had been brought up in a strictly religious family up until she was fifteen. Then, her mother had died, cancer, and she had lost her faith, the little of what remained of it being shattered when her father had died. Her brother, Daniel, was still devout, but he knew his sister well enough not to press the matter when he came to visit, or when she went to Cornwall to see him, his wife and her niece and nephew.
Was Liza right? Could she be right? Were there just too many co-incidences for a logical mind to function? Was she asking herself too many questions? Perhaps.
She frowned, rubbing her temples. This was all too much. The fact that she was even entertaining the possibility was enough to make her laugh.
Her attention was caught as the male at the front of the church stood up, crossed himself, bowed his head and turned to leave the building. She watched him as he approached where she was sat, then it clicked.
"You!"
The male stopped in his tracks, and looked at her. "Me." he said simply.
"I need to speak with you." She shifted further up the pew, and patted the spot beside her as an invitation for him to sit down.
At first it seemed as if he was just going to leave. He glanced at the door, almost warily, then sighed and nodded. "Alright."
"Sae, right?"
"Saethundugina Harridagariz, at your service, as it were."
Again with the unpronounceable names! "Natalie Lucas."
"Charmed."
A pause, then; "Who are you?"
Sae chuckled. "Perhaps a better question would be 'what are you'."
Natalie swallowed. What was he getting at here? She gazed at him for a short while, holding his gaze, noticing crimson streaks occasionally moving through his eyes.
"Alright, then," she said confidently. "What are you?"
"I'm a demon." Was the simple reply. He smiled, very slightly, and looked away.
A demon. Wonderful. Of course, that made perfect sense.
She scowled slightly, still watching him. "Are you happy?"
She would never in her life figure out precisely why she asked that question, but something told her to do so - perhaps that same something that had told her not to tell the police about Ameron, and the same something that had told her to be wary of Sae when she had first met him.
She never had had a history of listening to good advice.
Sae briefly glanced up, then exhaled and sat back, stretching languidly. "I suppose. As happy as one damned for all eternity can be, anyway."
"Does that mean 'no'?"
He just looked at her. "Yes, that means no."
Normally, she would have laughed it off and told him that he was insane, that there was no such thing as demons and perhaps he should book himself into a mental institution for testing, but she didn't. Maybe it was the way the light in the church seemed to highlight scarlet (and vividly so) flecks in his eyes. Maybe it was how he sat there - so relaxed, yet so alert. Like Ameron, there was an unearthly beauty about him, and she did not think that he could possibly be evil with such a countenance... and he was a demon?
Seemed she was having to cope with a lot these days, and she knew she should have been terrified. All laws of human behaviour said that she should have high-tailed it out of there as soon as it had been proven beyond reasonable doubt that he was a demon as he said he was, and yet still she sat there, talking to him.
"So, why are you in a church?" Again, perhaps she should have asked a different question. 'How' may have been better than 'why'. However, he seemed to let it slide.
"I like churches."
A silence. Natalie fiddled with the hem of her coat.
"Why did you warn me to keep away from Ameron?"
He looked up, as if surprised by her question of that she remembered their previous encounter at all. He chuckled quietly. "Ameron fell because my brother defiled him, and he could not help but enjoy it." The male gave a grim smile. "As ever, the fatal flaw in our Father's design - the body always betrays the mind."
Natalie looked down, pushing her hair behind her ears then gazing at her hands as they rested in her lap.
"Defiled..." she murmured. That was an odd way of putting it... but she supposed it was more or less right. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Ameron had been raped, and God help her, if she ever caught the bastard who'd done it...
"You wouldn't survive."
His voice interrupted her thoughts. "What?"
"If you tried to kill him. Maz. You wouldn't survive."
How did he... Demon. Hahahaha. Some part of her mind which had not yet accepted that he was what he said he was weakened a little.
"Who is Maz?"
"Mazgoturthakal," He couldn't keep the disgust from his voice. "He's my younger brother, though I am reluctant to name him so."
He sighed, shaking his head slightly, then his expression became so fierce that Natalie almost recoiled from him.
"And I will never forgive him for taking that angel down before I could."
"Ameron...?"
He gave a sharp nod. "Time and time again he has thwarted me, and nothing would have pleased me more than to drag him kicking and screaming down to Hell. Then my idiot brother got there first, and took away the only tiny light in my pathetic existence, just like he took away everything else."
The woman stared at him, watching as he clenched and unclenched his fists in frustration. She sensed, however, that he was not as hate-filled as he was making himself out to be.
"If you hate your life so much then why don't you stop?" Her voice echoed in the church as she was glad that the place was empty. "Why don't you just ask for forgiveness?"
Sae laughed coldly, bitterly. "You're just human. How could you understand?"
"Why?! Why can't you swallow your pride and just ask?!"
"BECAUSE I DONT KNOW HOW!!"
Natalie must have skidded back about three feet as she tried to get away from him. Sae had started to his feet, eyes blazing a dark, blood red.
"Demon..." she whispered. If she didn't believe before, well, she bloody did now!
"Listen to me, mortal," Sae hissed. "You are speaking of things that you cannot possibly understand. What do you think I am doing here, if not begging for salvation? But why am I telling you...?" His voice trailed off and he sat back down, leaning forwards, resting his head in his hands.
Despite herself, Natalie reached out a hand.
"Don't touch me." he murmured. She didn't pay any attention - Natalie had always had a soft spot for people in distress, even if Sae wasn't technically a person.
Sliding back along the pew, she rest a hand on his shoulder, then put an arm around him.
"I said, don't-"
"I know what you said." she interrupted. He didn't speak again for a long while.
"You're brave... for a human." he said, subdued, some fifteen minutes later.
Natalie glanced down at him. In the fifteen minutes of silence she had memorized the hymns list, counted all the candles at the front of the church, and had found several bats in the rafters.
She chafed his shoulder lightly. "Thank you."
"I never... I never wanted it to end up like this."
"Hm?"
"They don't understand, down there... They don't know how keenly I felt the loss of my Grace, my Innocence... Even my own name."
"Sae?"
"Yes?"
"What was your name?"
He smiled weakly, looking ever so mildly amused that she should ask such a question. Of course... she wasn't to know.
"When an angel is Damned, they can no longer say their angelic name. I can't speak it, I can't write it, I can't even spell it. Ameron isn't Damned, just Fallen. He can still make it back... it is more difficult for me, however. I say my true name and I risk spontaneously combusting myself."
She almost laughed, but managed to hold it in. "Can I ask you something?"
Sae raised an eyebrow, then shrugged. "Sure... why not."
"In the angelic language, how do you say 'angel'?"
"Caelestis."
* * *
It was at least two and a half hours later when she returned home, Suzie meeting her excitedly by the door. The house was quiet, and she leaned against a wall in the porch to pull off her shoes. Sighing softly, she scooped up her bag from where she had left it on the floor.
She and Sae had spoken for a while longer before she had excused herself from his company. From the first impression he had given when she had run into him where she had found Ameron, she had found him surprisingly easy to talk to, and she could not help but pity him. There was no doubt in her mind that he was paying his penance for his rebellion, and he was indeed suffering.
Even if he was a demon, he still had the soul of an angel.
Pushing the inside door open she stepped into the silence of the sitting room. The television was on standby, and on a chair, his knees slightly curled up towards him, one arm around his legs, was Ameron, sleeping. She couldnt tell if he had just dozed off or if he had passed out from sheer exhaustion, but for all intents and purposes he looked so peaceful that she was hesitant to wake him up. However, she wasnt going to let him go hungry - he'd been ill and it wouldnt do for him to have been going without nourishment.
"Ameron..." she murmured, crouching in front of him and lightly resting a hand on his knee. "Wake up, honey..."
He mumbled something restlessly, an ever-so-slightly confused frown flickering over his pale face.
Natalie smiled fondly, reaching up to brush his hair out of his face. It was impossible not to like someone as sweet and unassuming as Ameron. The only word to describe him was 'cute'.
"Caelestis..." she whispered then. The young man's eyes slowly opened, and he drew in a soft, shuddering breath, his fingers flexing gently.
For a moment, his eyes were clear and there was an infinite understanding in them like nothing she'd ever seen before. Then it was gone, and he met her gaze, frowning a little.
"Oh..."
He exhaled quietly, absently touching his forehead and pushing his hair back away from it where he could still feel the ghost of Natalie's touch on his skin. "What..." He was still half asleep, and he couldn't quite make his mind work out what he wanted to say. Ameron had learned the language quickly and even he knew it - he supposed some part of his mind still held some kind of angelic features that had allowed him to do so.
"Are you hungry?" she asked him.
He frowned, making a soft noise and yawning very slightly. "Hungry...? A little..."
Smiling slightly, Natalie offered him a hand. "Come on then, I'll make some food."
As every time he make any kind of contact with her, he tentatively took her hand and allowed her to help him to his feet. Even in bare feet he was several inches taller than she was, and yet she never felt intimidated by him.
Like a child he followed her into the kitchen, perching on the edge of one of the dining chairs as he watched her rummage around in cupboards for something they could eat. She felt his eyes on her back and glanced at him, finding his gaze calm, unassuming and mildly interested, as it ever was.
"Do you want pasta?"
"... What's that?"